In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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