So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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