The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
