Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
