Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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