im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
