I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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