best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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