I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
