On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Randomize
