Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
