YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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