Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I need to sanitize my soul.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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