Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
