The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
