I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
