i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
