The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
