butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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