Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
handjob tips. give me some.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
