He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
