The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You may now shotgun with the bride
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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