i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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