i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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