My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Randomize
