we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You are the jesus of drinking
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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