I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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