its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
