I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
