i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
