after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize
