How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
