Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
