I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
