There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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