Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
