I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
