Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Pants are for mortals
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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