Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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