You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
