We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
