Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
