She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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