You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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