I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
