They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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