i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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