Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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