I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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