i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize