I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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